"Dimelo"

Yesterday was the most difficult day I have had so far, but I also believe it was a turning point.  I had to rush to find a new place to live in a matter of a few hours.  I eventually found a hostel that I could afford, and after walking all the way back to my hotel I realized that the this particular hostel was on the 5th floor of a tiny building.  There was no way I could get my suitcase up 5 flights of stairs.  Not only am I not strong enough to do that, but the stairway was too narrow my bag.  So I cancelled the hostel reservation and was convinced, because I am quite possibly the most dramatic person in the world, that I was going to be homeless.  A thought which led to an anxiety attack in my hotel room. 

I calmed myself down, did some searching on the Internet and found a hotel for two nights in the downtown area.  The rate at the hotel was even cheaper than what many of the hostels were asking for.  As I went to book the hotel, my computer died and I couldn't find the Mac-connector-piece-thing for my charger and, therefore, could not charge my computer.  And, therefore, once again believed I was going to be homeless.  Anxiety attack, round 2.

After a shower and some serious praying I found the piece for the charger in the most obscure place; an event that I will always consider a miracle.  With my computer back in action, I booked the hotel until Monday.   After the panic had subsided, I realized the significance of the whole fiasco.  At one point I was so scared and upset that I actually considered coming home.  But even in my clouded mind I knew that this is where I want to be, even if it is hard right now and I have no friends or place to live or job - haha.  Plus, I know that if I gave up and came home because it was easier, I'd never be able to forgive myself.  Hence, a turning point - I made the choice to stay, even when all I wanted was something familiar and comforting.

I noticed recently that I've started to take comfort in the small things.  That many of the television shows are the same (the Spanish subtitles have helped my speaking tremendously), strangers who are kind to me even though I have trouble speaking/understanding our conversation, small yet extravagant cathedrals, and that beer tastes the same in this hemisphere are all things that have helped me adjust to this new life.  Every day I find a new thing that I can find comfort in.  Today it was music.  

I was sitting in a cafe and a song by Enrique Iglesias came on called "Do You Know?"  This song happened to come out over three years ago while I was studying in Spain.  My friends and I loved it, which was fortunate because you could hardly go anywhere without hearing it.  When I came back from Spain, I heard the same song on the radio in English.  I had been missing my friends a lot, so I burned it (along with a few other "Spain songs") to a CD which I listened to religiously for a couple months before the magic of the music wore off.  I don't think I've heard the song in well over a year, in either English or Spanish.  Then today, as I was sitting in another Spanish-speaking country stressing out about finding somewhere to live, Enrique was everywhere.  I was so overwhelmed by the comfort it brought to me that I actually started laughing out loud.

I sat for a moment quietly singing along with the lyrics, thinking about Spain and how far in the past that adventure seems like now.  I decided to take it as a sign that even though right now things are difficult and stressful, this adventure, like the one in Spain, will be successful and something I will miss one day.  It's kinda of a stretch, but again, it's the small things that are helping me through this.

"Dimelo" (the song en espanol):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex7wAjqb2Ko