It's all relative

After Samm and Jake left I was talking to a friend from home and she asked me if them going back to the States made me miss home more. Before I could respond she said, “Wait… are you homesick?”

When I talk to friends and family in the States, I often get questions about the progress of my Spanish, what I’m doing about work, if I have any romantic interests, and future travel plans (answers to these questions being posted by the end of the week), but up to this point no one had directly asked me if I was “homesick.”

My answer: homesickness is relative. I miss the U.S. more when I feel like I’m missing out on something. And when these moments come – the first Gator game day in Gainesville, the day my best friend of 20 years got engaged – the desire to be in that particular place or with that particular person can be overwhelming. The important thing to remember, though, is that I am clumping all of the people, places and things that I miss together and directing all those feelings at one person.

Today is my sister’s 20^th birthday and I’m missing it. And it sucks. I’ve Skype called her twice already and wrote on her Facebook wall, but nothing can make up for the fact that I’m not physically there with her. But then I realize that I haven’t been with my sister on her birthday since she turned 14. Granted, now that I view her as one of my best friends instead of a 14-year-old who I can’t relate to, I actually want to celebrate her birthday with her. But we lived in the same city last year and she went out with her sorority friends, while I went to visit my then-boyfriend in another city. The reason I’m having such a hard time with this today is because I also miss the rest of my family, my friends, Gainesville, and drinking light beer…I’m just pinning it all on Megan.

At this point, though, I’m going to have the same problem when I come home. I’ve established a new life here, one that I love and dread the thought of ever leaving. I’ve accepted that being here means I’m going to miss some things that happen at home… because being here also means I’m experiencing things, meeting people, and seeing places that I could never at home. I guess you could say I’m stuck between home and an awesome place.

So to answer my friend’s question, yes, watching Samm and Jake return to the land of the free did make me reminisce on all the things I look forward to returning one day too. Don't feel too bad for me though. Meredith and I went out for some Argentine Malbec and steak to make ourselves feel better.

...And feliz cumple, Meg.